Late-Night Comics Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Immigration Scheme

TV's leading hosts devoted the airtime ridiculing President Donald Trump's newly launched immigration program, called the "golden visa," characterizing it as a clear pay-to-play scheme for the affluent.

Stephen Colbert's Pointed Spin

Opening his program, Stephen Colbert delivered a mock Christmas tune directed at the president. "He is compiling a list, reviewing it twice, then giving that list to the officials at ICE," he sang. "Trump ... ruins everything he handles."

The subject was the new plan which permits overseas citizens to acquire U.S. legal status for a sum of one million dollars, or "top-tier" version for 5 million. The program's portal guarantees approval "in record time."

"One message here to affluent immigrants: before you pay, what about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He explained that the scheme is also designed to "squeeze cash" from companies looking to hire skilled workers, with large costs. "That is a lot of fees, but if you enroll, you additionally get two free nights at a property of your selection – as long as it's the that one hotel," he added.

"The most thorough background check the government has before done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to ensure these applicants absolutely are eligible to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "First question: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Commentary

On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the visa program the "Get Into America Express Card."

"It's a card that will let rich international individuals to live here," he explained. "For a million dollars, you get legal visitor status, you get a route to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one significant crime of your choosing."

"Maybe it's time to revise that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your tired masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel mocked the simplicity of the application, observing it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Exactly, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Economic Issues

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's slipping approval numbers amid financial anxiety. "The public gave Donald Trump a another term since they were upset about the economy," he said.

This week, in a effort to address cost of living, Trump held a press conference in front of a array of grocery items, where he behaved oddly to boxes of cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take a few of them back to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time."

"Trump is so fucking weird," Meyers said. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by targeting right-leaning news defenses of Trump's financial performance. "Perhaps instead of complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy like the one FIFA did," he laughed.