My One Adjustment That Worked: How I Overcame After-Work Tension Via an Unexpected Find in the Attic

I often feel as tense as a wound-up clock after work. My shoulders grow tense, my breath turns fast and shallow. Usually, the sound of my laptop lid slamming shut used to lead to the squeak of a cork pulled from a bottle of red, wine poured quickly into a glass, that initial sip marking the end of the workday.

Then, a few months ago, I discovered an old school recorder belonging to my grown son in the attic. I idly blew into it, instantly reminded of the time when it drove me crazy – his daily practice a violent assault on my eardrums, the piercing shriek still reverberating through my head hours after he had gone to bed.

Instead of throwing it away, I brought it downstairs, along with a book – Very Easy Recorder Tunes. As a child, I had no musical talent whatsoever. I’d had recorder lessons at infant school, but never had the opportunity to learn other instruments.

Googling “how to play the recorder”, I watched dozens of YouTube videos aimed at children, and got a fingering guide on paper. Looking up simple recorder songs, I felt excited when I played a recognizable Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Yes, a typical young child could learn it quickly, but as a tone deaf, impatient and stressed 51-year-old, it felt like a huge achievement.

My son asked what the hell I was doing (and please could I stop), but I kept going – I liked the way the recorder made me feel. My inability to remember anything forced me to focus on the music sheet, and painstakingly copy the finger positions. My breath calmed, my attention sharpened, and after nailing that initial shaky melody, I was overjoyed. I had managed to play music.

Now, several months later, I can “play” other nursery rhymes and a passable Ode to Joy. Yes, my timing is rubbish, and I still need to write the names of the notes down, but to me, it’s not about skill or being a musician – it is simply about the pleasure it brings and the fact I can’t think of anything else when I am playing.

I read that only one in six children learn to play the recorder now, which was no doubt music to parents’ ears, but it made me a little sad and nostalgic for my own school days, and my son’s childhood.

I make it a habit to play each night after work before I do anything else, and during those 20 minutes, I am in my own little world. And afterwards, I feel totally energised and uplifted.

My friends find it amusing, but one very wise therapist friend told me that I was reducing stress, and boosting mental skills, like memory and sound processing, which is invaluable at my time of life. For daily wellness, it’s truly an ode to joy.